What you'd probably say, and the name for it. Naming a conversational move is what lets you notice it while it's happening instead of three hours later in the car.
Conversations have types, and the types have different rules. Trouble usually starts when two people think they're in different ones \u2014 one debating, the other confiding.
The working vocabulary. The last two groups are about what goes wrong, including the parts that are your own doing.
Instead of symbols: specific moves, what they sound like, and what each one actually accomplishes. These are meant to be borrowed word for word until they're yours.